We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
