If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
