Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
