if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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