weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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