so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
