Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
