another moral hangover. fuck.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
