How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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