This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
