Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
We need to rekindle our bromance
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
