i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
a search helicopter?!
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
