Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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