i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
