So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
