white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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