so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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