her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
