when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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