Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
