i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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