I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
