i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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