Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
