Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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