How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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