If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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