"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
