They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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