haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
