So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize