Whoa Z and x make the same sound
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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