it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
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