and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
