Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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