My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize