My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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