I accidentally had phone sex last night
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
