Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
