he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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