whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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