Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
oh god was she eating orange peels again
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
