He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
