Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
My cat gives me a boner
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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