covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
