Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
