summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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