I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Randomize
