i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
