Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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