I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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