So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
