he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
