Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
