i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
