Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
