dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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