I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
